You may not be all too surprised to hear that what you say in your first message to a potential partner on a dating sites does make a difference. One of the largest dating sites recently conducted a study with their members, analyzing their first messages sent to a new contact, and the reply rate for those message. They’ve discovered that there are a few key aspects to a first contact message that can make or break your changes for a positive reply. While this study was not done on a lesbian dating site – we bet that there will be little difference in the results in your own online dating experiences!
Get away from the text-speak. Please wipe the words “wat”, “luv” and “realy” from your vocabulary! The reply rate for first messages that included abbreviated forms of the English language was so low you really wonder if the time saved by not typing a few letters was really worth it. This study showed that there was between a 25% and 8% reply rate for messages that used this pseudo-vocabulary. Avoid “r”, “u”, and “ya” as well. While you may think it looks casual and cute, you may be regretting that decision when a girl you’re really excited about doesn’t return your message.
Keep away from superficial physical compliments. This online dating study also showed that when messages were sent with pickup lines including the words “beautiful”, “sexy”, “hot” and “cutie”, they had as low as a 18% change of having that message returned. Seems like superficial compliments on the first dating site message sends up some red flags. Alternatively, words like “awesome”, “cool” and “fascinating” had a much higher reply rate. The lesson to take away from this is – don’t be overly flattering to a person you’re hoping to hear back from!
Pick an out-of-the-ordinary greeting. Do you find yourself using the same “hi”, “hello” and “hey” when you’re sending your first message on a lesbian dating site? Those first few words can make or break your changes of getting a reply back. The simple phrase “how’s it going” had more than a 50% reply rate, as compared with “hi” and it’s 24%. Even the somewhat short and sweet “yo” did much better than something like “holla”. Be creative with that opening phrase and you might see a few more lesbian dating replies in your inbox!
Be specific in your interests. Want to increase your changes of getting your first dating site message replied to? Share a bit about yourself, but be specific! Words like “tattoos”, “vegetarian” and “band” had a significantly higher reply rate than those who didn’t go into any specifics about their interest. Even words like “grad school”, “video games” and “favorite movies” made a big difference. So if you’re looking for a reply from your potential lesbian love, give her something to think about!
Lay off the chat about religion – in general. As strange as it may seem, there’s a lower reply rate for ladies who mentioned “God” in their first message when compared to those who mentioned specific religious terms such as “jewish”, “Allah” and “Jesus”. If you’re treading on the ‘first date faux pa’ chat of politics and religion, it may be better to be as specific as possible. The one word that had more than a 40% reply rate when it came to religious talk? “Atheist”.
Are you ready to try out your new found skills? Lesbians Unlimited has partnered up with Sapphic Dating to bring lesbians looking for love online together. It’s free to join and set up your profile. In a few minutes you can be contacting ladies from around the world who are interested in getting to know another woman. Now that you’ve got your tips for a prefect first message on a dating site, put it to good use!